The One About Balls

Good Afternoon! If you thought the word "bifurcation" was a new gender, you've come to the wrong newsletter.

In todays email:

• Doin lines

• The Ball Situation

• Golf Girl Of The Month

• Scotties Feet

• Best At Their Best

*Note*

Today's "Doin Lines" is reader contributed. Our friend, Steg from New Jersey, felt that our previous picks were lacking, and offered his services.

So, here's everything you need to know about betting The Valspar Championship, according to Steg.

• Copperhead Course at the Innisbrook Resort in Palm Harbor, FL (Tampa area)

• Par 71, 7340 yards

• Purse: $8,100,000

• Previous winner: Sam Burns 👑 (going for the 3-peat! +1800 on DK, +1600 FD)

• Favorite: Justin Thomas (+1100 DK, +1000 FD)

• Cut line: top 65 including ties

Follow the sun! Take away the absolute grind of getting to the PGA level, these guys get to be in the best areas of the world at the best times. The answer to life is…outside!

Weather Report: 

Thursday 80 🌞

Friday 83 🌞

Saturday 76 ⛈

Sunday 65 ⛈

Looking like a wet weekend…

5 out of the top 25 golfers in the world will be playing this week at the Valspar. The favorite, Justin Thomas, comes in struggling.

Sam Burns, the back to back champion, is defending for the 3-peat which is something rare to see in the history books, besides that guy Tiger Woods.

The world has become pre-covid / post-covid, so anything that happened before covid I will not be referencing for this championship.

This event was cancelled in 2020, so let’s take a look at who performed well in ’21 and ’22:

Top 20s both years: Burns, JT, Nesmith (T21 in ’21), Noren (not in the event this year)

Picks:

I’m a pretty big believer in past success at courses, as well as how hot have you been lately. The degenerates of the world have taken over, and now from one degen to another here are the picks:

Outright: Burns (+1800), Fleetwood (+2200)

Top 20: NeSmith (+360), Fleetwood (+125), Burns (+100),

Top 40: Bhatia (+150), NeSmith (+150) Dahmen (+130), Woodland (-110)

Not the most exciting picks, but Fleetwood is coming off a great week and has performed well here in the past. Bhatia is a young stud coming off a T2 at the Puerto Rico open. Please bet responsibly or just risk it all and go broke, whatever works for you…and always…Play Golf America!

Everyones Talking About Balls 

It seems like every week, there's a new change in professional golf. It's hard to keep up with, but that's okay, that's why we're here. We're also here for all the people who saw the word "bifurcation" being thrown around and have no clue what it means.

What's the deal?

The USGA and R&A, the guys who make the rules for golf, have decided to "roll back" the golf ball elite tour pros use, so that they don't hit it so far. The biggest reason for this is because distance gains have dramatically increased over the years and the governing bodies are very concerned about it.

So what does bifurcation mean, please tell us.

It means under the proposed rules, pros would play a different ball than the rest of us. Like how professional baseball players use wooden bats. In this case, it would take effect in 2026 and knock about 20yds of distance off of pros drives.

Okay, so what?

People have very strong feelings about this and it impacts players, manufacturers, and the tournaments themselves in different ways.

• Brandel Chamblee went off last night on twitter about it, he hates it.

• PGA Tour and Acushnet (owner of Titelist and Footjoy) issued statements.

• The players themselves do NOT seem happy with the proposal

• Jack & Tiger have both previously come out in favor of rollbacks

In fact, just this morning, Justin Thomas went on a three minute rant about it.

Okay, enough about balls.

Where this all ends up, nobody knows, but it's a mess. We will wrap it up with Bryson Dechambaeu's thoughts on the matter:

"I think it's the most atrocious thing that you could possibly do to the game of golf."

Golf Babe of the Month

First, a legal disclaimer: Golf Babe is chosen by one of our staff writers who is a bachelor, as none of the married guys would ever participate in such a thing.

Total babe, better swing than 90% of the dudes reading this newsletter, and worth an Instagram follow for sure. Congrats to Hailey Ostrom on winning the most prestigous award in golf.

Do The Scottie Schuffle?

He might be a golf teacher’s worst nightmare, but also the Official World Golf Ranking numero uno.

Meet Scottie Scheffler, the reigning Masters champion and most recently, winner of the Players Championship. If you’re reading this newsletter and haven’t heard of this guy, you’re lying. If you’re unfamiliar with his swing, it is highly sophisticated and coordinated anarchy.

Sort of looks like a calmed down version of the Happy Gilmore swing right? Except HAPPY IS FAKE AND THIS DUDE REALLY DOES THIS!!! Here’s a direct quote from the Schuff… Scheffler himself on why we all must watch a pro do everything our golf coach yells at us for:

“What I’m trying to do to get power in my golf swing is load into my right side and then come off my right side and go into my left. So in order to get my weight from here to there — when I slide my foot, it makes sure I get all my weight kinda through the ball.”

See the full of Scottie discussing his swing video here. But don’t try this at home.

Or maybe do.. according to his golf coach.

The Best at Their Best

Why Aaron Rai Uses Iron Covers

It's none as one of the biggest cornball moves in golf, but Aaron Rai does it for a cool reason:

"It started from the age of four years old, when my dad used to pay for my equipment," said Rai, who described his family as working class. "He paid for my membership, paid for my entry fees. It wasn't money that we really had, to be honest, but he'd always buy me the best clubs.

"When we used to go out and practice, he used to clean every single groove afterward with a pin and baby oil, and to protect the golf clubs he thought it would be good to put iron covers on them. And I've pretty much had iron covers on all my sets ever since, just to kind of appreciate the value of what I have."

via Golf Digest

Golf Thing We'd Buy If We Weren't Broke

I already don’t have the skrilla for new wedges, let alone these ultra BADASS custom Callaway wedges from Anthony Taranto. I mean look at some of these dude!

To quote the great Leonardo DiCaprio as Jordan Belfort in Wolf of Wall Street, “… at least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems (of not hitting a green in regulation), I show up in the back of a limo wearing a $2,000 suit and a $40,000 gold f***in’ watch (and a custom Callaway wedge from Anthony Taranto)!”

That's all folks! See you Friday. ✌️