⛳️ Super Quick Update: Irish Open

Plus: A golf joke, a putter, and a robot.

Author

The Shanks Gator
September 09, 2023

Good Morning! Welcome to Shanks. The Make The Cut Parlay has hit at +335. We hope you’re getting paid to read this newsletter.

Golf Joke: This one was told us last week by a Shanks Reader. We will try not to screw it up, as we only heard it once. Also, for the sake of space, the joke is a little longer, so we are putting it down at the bottom of today’s email.

Here's what we've got for ya today:

  • Super Quick Update: Irish Open

  • TGL New York

  • Golf Shots Heard Round The World

  • Golf Joke

  • Golf Thing We’d Buy If We Weren’t Broke

Super Quick Update: Irish Open

We are a little more than halfway through the Irish Open, and our Top-5 pick from Wednesday (Jordan Smith) has a share of the lead.

Jordan Smith and Shubhankar Sharma are trailed by Ross Fisher, Hurly Long, and Calum Hill.

The two Irishmen, Rory McIlroy (-7) and Shane Lowry (-8) are also chasing.

Make The Cut Parlay (+335) has hit, Billy Horschel Top-10 (+275), and Jordan Smith Top-5 (+810) are both alive and well.

TGL New York

That’s right! TGL, a new indoor professional golf league where teams of 3 will play head-to-head on a giant simulator, has announced that the 4th of 6 total teams has arrived.

While the team doesn’t have a name yet, you can follow New York Mets owner, Steve Cohen, because that man is ALSO now the owner of the NY TGL team.

Is that scaring some of you New York fans considering the Mets current season? It shouldn’t, we as CaddyShanks think this golf venture could be a super cool way for wider audiences and casuals alike to get to know the best PGA Tour pros a bit better.

To recap, the teams currently announced for TGL are:

  • Atlanta: Arthur Blank, who also owns the Atlanta Falcons (NFL) and Atlanta United (MLS)

  • The Los Angeles Golf Club: owned by tennis greats, Serena Williams, and Venus Williams

  • Boston: owned by Fenway Group

Not much else is known about TGL, but the televised league will take place over two hours on Monday nights during prime time. There will be a total of 15 head-to-head regular season matches before the semifinals and finals.

The league is slated to begin January 2024.

Golf Shots Heard Round The World

Golf Joke

One beautiful Saturday, a foursome is out playing a round of golf.

They are fuming about the pace of play.

They realize that the cause of slow play is that there’s an eight-some in the group ahead of them.

They start complaining, yelling insults, etc.

Eventually the Golf Pro comes out…

Pro: What’s the matter gentleman?

Golfer #1: They are playing so slow. I’ve never seen such ineptitude!

Pro: Oh, yes, that’s a group of four blind men with their aids to help them see.

Golfer #1: Oh, I am so sorry! I’d like to buy them all a box of balls for being a jerk.

Golfer #2: Sheesh, I feel awful! I’ll treat them all to a free round.

Golfer #3: I’ll pay for their lunches.

The Golf Pro then turns to the Golfer #4 and says “Well? What will you do?”

Golfer #4: Nothing! Those A**holes should be playing at night!

Golf Thing We'd Buy If We Weren't Broke

Do you have the money for a new Scotty Cameron putter? Neither do we! And with a name like “Concept X 7.2 LTD putter”, which is a limited-release offering that combines the performance of the Phantom X 7 with a tour-inspired plumbing neck, you know that’s gonna put you and your credit card in years of debt. So, let’s check it out!

  • Price: $750 is what’s listed on golfweek.com, but eBay says otherwise… ($1,275+)

  • Head: Milled 303 stainless steel body with 6061 aluminum sole plate, adjustable steel weights

  • Grip: Pistolero Plus

  • Shaft: custom Concept X LTD

  • Color: Black. Are you not seeing it? It’s literally all blacked out except for the smallest bit of red. Very mysterious. We like!

  • Head cover: Exactly what you’d expect.

Available at Titleist-authorized shops starting September 15.

That’s all folks! See you Monday.